There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
