You made me cry and you don't even care
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Randomize
