The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize
