careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
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