smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
