Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
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