Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
Randomize
