My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
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