dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
