playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
