i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Randomize
