i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Randomize
