i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
Randomize
