How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
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