I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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