I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
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