I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
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