In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
Randomize
