Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
Randomize
