I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
Randomize
