thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
Randomize
