You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
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