And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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