Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
Randomize
