I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Randomize
