What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize
