ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
