Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
Randomize
