Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
Randomize
