just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
