i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
