Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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