Pants 0. Shit 1.
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
