this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
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