I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Randomize
