i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
We left an ass print on the piano.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
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