After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
Randomize
