We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
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