hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
Randomize