I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
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