I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
Randomize
