We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
Randomize
