Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
