now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
This baby is an asshole
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
