I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
Dicks are not precious.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
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