the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
