We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
Every concussion has its silver lining
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
Randomize
