Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
