YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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