well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
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